I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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