Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
