Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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