what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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