Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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