I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
