By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
