My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
