Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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