I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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