Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
