my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize