I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
