i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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