At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
