he shaved USA in his pubs
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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