I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I enjoy the company of your penis
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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