you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
