We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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