ya dads aren't the best wingmen
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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