i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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