went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
