I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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