This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
