I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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