I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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