Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
True strength comes from lack of pants
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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