My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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