i wish my penis had a tongue
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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