In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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