After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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