Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Randomize