i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
that may or may not have been my penis.
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