Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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