OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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