Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
