I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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