You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
