Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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