so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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