I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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