i think my tv is drunk
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
