are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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