i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
