Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize