I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
