You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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