His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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