It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
