i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
