The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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