I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
