you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
