Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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