Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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