just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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