You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
