My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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