you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She's the barista slut.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
tell me about the eggs
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