I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
that may or may not have been my penis.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
