no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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