pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
In America we eat man semen.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
