Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
