You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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