i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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