He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
