Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I touched a dick in church today
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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