Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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